don't worry, I highly doubt anyone will end up doing what I did to attempt feeling alive

I've done lines all across this town

bumps in every public place I've been.

Restaurant's, cabbies and each bus station-

to fall down rather than anything

usually all while trying to pay attention;

& listen to my companion for the evening.

Despite being aware from the beginning

that it won't last beyond this evening.

At best, perhaps, give her til the morning

So I don't spoil her delusion.

Hardly able to breathe thanks to the tar

That fill my lungs full my dear.

Tried to show you my eyes, remember?

The way I was so tired after all we did share, 

Except you commented on something other 

Than the tinpins my pupips are

$ spoke upon how scared of the yellow color

That will eat away the white til it is no more.

I didn't reply for over an hour

Had much to say but my voice did disappear

Instead I just sat there and tried not to stare. 

Showing that side would reveal that I care

And for that truth is still quite a horror

One that shall remain dosed in laughter 

Until that fateful day comes when a whisper

Will not suffice for me, I guess, it'll be clear

Then for us to make sense of how I am sure

There has never been more to me to discover

Than this broken old soul and this mirror.

The one that holds back with a shudder

And then finally break as it does shatter

With its internal pattern starting to appear-

Look now you can see web-esque right there.

It wouldn't take much to show you I swear

Of what these entangled lies will deliever.

Mustn't need to be all that clever

To connect the dots to then see where

The days went wrong in which did order

Those previous pieces of beautiful ember 

To swell and collapse inwards with danger 

That revealed itself to be completely true.

No game was played with that one my dear,

Like how some girls will think the creature

They flirt to the point of attack will surrender 

Given time to find points of pressure

And presume that when it stops its temper

Then that is all; but that reality is too rare.

Usually a beautiful smile causes no monster.

After years of this abuse, desire i swear

Isn't what keeps it tame but rather

What happens to evoke the predator.

look into the sky, and I see

no sign of a God or a Devil.

Can't stand this any longer,

cannot stand with out somebody

to lean on! This crutch is simply

getting worse. This vice is the

only truth I know, and now nobody

can stop me. This demise is my journey

and it's an adventure, each day

is so gloomy! I have to figure

out a way to find happiness before

the day ends... before the cue

comes for the horizon to start up tomorrow.